US Masters blog: On-the-Perch Classic

Sorry, I’m using my imagination again. While following the three-ball of Geoff Ogilvy, Vijay Singh and Ernie Els on the back nine yesterday, I got thinking about how I could make events even more interesting. So I created a little side game of ‘On the Perch’. No money was involved; just the honour of owning the perch was enough…

Hole 10 – Par 4 Singh carries the perch mantle from the 9th hole. Shoves his drive far right off the fairway. Els hooks. Ogilvy down the middle. Good recovery sees Els ten feet from pin. Singh out of the race. Ogilvy gets up and down for par. Els misses birdie putt for outright perch honours. Shared perch scenario.

Hole 11 – Par 4 Ogilvy and Els on the fairway. Singh slices another bad boy into the trees. Hits ankle biter under the branches just shy of the green. Els drifts wide and bogeys; Singh takes double bogey. Ogilvy claims the perch with smart up-and-down.

Hole 12 – Par 3 Ogilvy oozes ‘perchmeister confidence’ and lands safely on the mat. Els by his side. Singh feels the pressure of chasing the perch and misses the green to take bogey. Els and Ogilvy par, the latter keeping his perch mantle.

Hole 13 – Par 5 More consistency from ‘Perchy Ogilvy’ as he pumps one down the middle. Els joins him. Singh gives it double sighs as he hits behind another tree – no perch glory on this hole. In the end, all three birdie. Ogilvy still nestling on the perch…

Hole 14 – Par 4 Ogilvy and Els put it in the middle of the track, Singh gives it some more Monty Teapot as he puts it left into more wood. Nuts a great recovery through the middle and onto green. All three par. Ogilvy and Els discuss the upcoming On the Perch Invitational at Pebble Beach. Singh checks with caddies to see whether he has enough to cover the Perch debt…

Hole 15 – Par 5 Ogilvy goes right, Els left, Singh keeps it on the fairway. Els forced to go under the trees and lay up. Ogilvy and Singh both hit the green. Els puts it within feet and birdies. Singh and Ogilvy two putt for birdie. Singh checks scoreboard for Perch updates around the course…

Hole 16 – Par 3 Loose tee shot from the perchmeister as his ball rolls down the slope to leave tricky putt. Els puts it within eight feet. Singh ten feet out. Ogilvy two putts for par, Singh does the same. Els misses out on claiming the perch and has to settle for par.

Hole 17 – Par 4 A rush of blood from Perchy as he hooks into greenside bunker on 7th hole. Els and Singh go long and straight. The five-hole perch reign looks to be coming to an end when Ogilvy bogeys. Els pars. Singh then birdies and, at the age of 46, is the Perchmeister General once again.

Hole 18 – Par 4 Three good tee shots find the flat stuff. Three good approaches land within feet of each other. Three ropey putts slide wide. Ogilvy claims Perchmeister Classic by way of maintaining the Perch for majority of holes. Els, as well as missing the cut, contemplates zero perch scores and flies back to Wentworth early. Singh and Ogilvy head for clubhouse where Anthony Kim is celebrating his perch winnings of £360 from Rory McIlroy and Ryo Ishikawa.

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