Golf Monthly US Masters blog: Bill Elliott at Augusta

Wind is up today. Nasty, swirling stuff, sweeping in off the Georgia pines. This, of course, is good. Good for us watching, bad for those playing. How I love to see them suffer. Yes?

I walked a few holes with Rory McIlroy. The kid is doing okay, maybe even much better than okay. But what impresses me most about him is his laid-back attitude to the game. He gives it a tonk off the tee, considers his approach briefly and gets on with it.

Getting on with it is a good thing. Mostly at the Masters, players irritatingly make mountains out of molehills, taking forever to judge an approach or line up a putt and then missing anyway. The old slow play debate rumbles on as it has done for several decades now but, really, can't somebody shove a rocket up some of these players.

It all got so tedious at one point that I headed to the clubhouse lawn for a lemonade. Augusta lemonade is very special indeed, a refreshing concoction of stuff topped off with a bevy of maraschino cherries. There is only one thing in life sweeter and tastier than a marschino cheery and if you don't know what this is yet I am not going to tell you.

Back in the GM house the drink of choice is Coors. My pleas for a decent white wine have so far gone unheeded. This is the probem with mixing with the youth of today; their taste buds are the last thing to mature properly.

There are three of us in the house. At least Alex assures me there are three of us. So that would be me, him, me and, er, some Irish bloke called Malachy. I'm told I met Malachy briefly on Monday evening but for the life of me I cannot remember this incident.

Instead all I have seen is a rumpled bed, the occasional sound of a shower and the faint scent of something rather strange. I have taken to calling this man/creature ‘Malachy The Wonder Dog’, which greatly amuses Alex (that's the other thing late to mature, a proper sense of humour).

Well, the wonder dog really is a wonder because last night he sent Alex a text, something about being lonely and in need of company and a drink. I told Alex to ignore this as I wasn’t sure what he might be getting himself into. After all, we can't be sure Malachy is yet properly house trained.

What we can be sure of is that Tiger is making heavy weather of this week to date, but that he remains my man to beat. Yes, yes, I know the race doesn't always go to the swiftest, but it sure as hell is the way to bet. My other bet, by the way, is that Malachy will exit this, his first, Masters with a Best In Show Prize. I'll let you know.

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