Bill Elliott at Augusta

Funny old place Augusta. Each year old places have disappeared, new ones spring up. And there are always surprises to be had. I had one of these last night when half a dozen of us pitched up to decide who was to be the March Golfer of the Month on the European Tour.

The Blazer who organises these things booked a table at Rae's Seafood Cafe. This turned out to be a Jamaican style restaurant complete with reggae music and lots of spicy fish and chicken. Brilliant. Especially the stream that meandered outside and that turned out to be the same Rae's Creek that so dramatically embroiders Amen Corner at Augusta National.

Anyway, the point here is that after several bottles of the right stuff we still could not decide on who the top golffer for March was. Floored by this impasse we were rescued when The Divine Ponytail otherwise known as Miguel Angel Jiminez strode coolly into the bar area where we startled him by offering a glass of wine plus the chance to cast the deciding vote.

This, of course, he did with his usual laid-back approach to life, the universe and everything. Miguel was, however, a bit irritated. "How do you find this place?" he asked. "This is my place, my secret, every year I come here to eat and never before has there been anyone I know." Chastened, we promised never to come back again. We were, naturally, lying through our teeth. And who was the lucky winner of the March GoM? You'll have to wait I'm afraid as it's embargoed for a while.

Meanwhile, back at the National, things are starting to hot up. Well, to be honest, they are cooling down. Once again Augusta is unseasonally cool, the wind biting, the girls dressed in, well, too much. All disappointing to this point but I'm assured the weather will improve very shortly.

What wasn't disappointing was bumping into Rosie and Gerry McIlroy's mum and dad in the clubhouse. Turns out they are as delightful as I'd been told. They are having the time of their lives this week, as is Rory. I told Mrs McIlroy that she had raised a nice lad and she was suitably thankful for the compliment. I then added that I hoped he stayed that way. her reply is worth repeating. "Oh, don't worry, he will, " she smiled. "I'll put him over my knee if I have to to make sure." Must go now as it is the  International Media Dinner at the Augusta Country Club that abuts on to Amen Corner. Jackets will be worn and, I dare say, wine will be taken. Once again, it's not easy being me.

Bye-bye...

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