'I Would Not Be In This Position Right Now Today If I Didn't Put That Drink Down Eight Months Ago' - Grayson Murray Opens Up On Alcoholism And Mental Health Struggles

Grayson Murray has been through dark times to get to where he is today.

The 30-year-old just won his first PGA Tour title in seven years to book a Masters debut, spots in all of the signature events for 2024, including the Players Championship, and a check for $1.49m.

He's up to a career-best 46th in the world and now admits he is starting to be the golfer he has always wanted to be.

The past few years have been difficult for the talented American, who played in the 2013 US Open at the age of 19 and in 2016 beat Cameron Smith by a stroke to win on the Korn Ferry Tour in his rookie season.

Since then, Murray has been to rehab for alcoholism, struggled with anxiety and depression, and almost died in a motorcycle crash. His turnaround his been inspiring since those dark days, though, having re-found religion, given up alcohol and winning three times in less than 12 months.

"I would drink during tournament weeks. It was my outlet. I thought I was invincible coming out here as a 22 year old, winning as a rookie, played three days hungover when I won," he said in the aftermath of his Sony Open triumph.

"Best thing and worst thing that ever happened to me was winning my rookie year but also feeling like I was invincible.

"It took me a long time to get to this point. That was seven years ago, over seven years ago. I'm a different man now. I would not be in this position right now today if I didn't put that drink down eight months ago."

Part of the reason why he put the drink down was following his motorcycle crash in Bermuda, which happened in late 2022 during tournament week of the PGA Tour's Bermuda Championship.

He hit oncoming traffic and required 50 stitches - and half of them in his face. “I should have died,” he said. “If I didn’t have my helmet on, I probably would have died. It should have been my rock bottom, but I had to keep going. I felt like I was still invincible.”

"Yeah, I did go to rehab for a month. It was by choice. It was time. The Lord was looking out for me then, and he's definitely looking out for me now.

"My story is not finished. I think it's just beginning. I hope I can inspire a lot of people going forward that have their own issues.

"It just goes back to just my life is so good right now. I wouldn't trade anything. I have a beautiful fiancee. I have beautiful parents. I have beautiful nephews, siblings.

"Everyone in my life right now who is close to me who has been through the struggles with me, it's all a team effort. I'm not sitting here - I am sitting here alone, but all of them are part of this.

"I think this is just the start of something really special.

"Maybe I was feeling a little sorry for myself. My parents never gave up on me, so I knew that wasn't an option to give up.

"This game has given me a lot. Financially it's given me a lot. It's given me a lot to just get away from everyday life struggles. It gives me comfort now on the course. I'm happy out there.

"When I go home now, it's not about golf. It's about my fiancee. It's about my family and the perspective now that I have is - I can't really put it into words."

Murray opened up on the depression, anxiety and self-esteem struggles he's been through and even admitted he thought he was a failure and a "waste of talent", having turned pro after an amateur career than included three Junior World titles, a made cut on the Korn Ferry Tour aged 16 and a US Open start aged 19.

"There are days where I didn't want to get out of bed. I just thought I was a failure. I always looked at myself as a failure. I thought I had a lot of talent that was just a waste of talent," he said.

"It was a bad place, but like I said, you have to have courage. You have to have the willingness to keep going. Lo and behold, that's what I did, and I'm here, and I'm so blessed and I'm thankful.

"Yeah, obviously I struggle with anxiety, I struggle with depression. That stemmed a lot from the alcohol use. I struggle with comparing myself to others, self-esteem. There's a lot of issues that - I call them issues. I think they're common issues that we all endure.

"I got tired of trying to fight it alone, and I asked for help one day, and that's when my life changed.

"I think it is, but I was humbled by that because I felt like the guys who came out kind of my year, maybe a year in front of me, I felt like I had pretty much their talent, and they took off and I didn't. So I think the arrogance, I kind of got humbled by that a little bit.

"But I also was a little, I would say - I'm trying to think of the word for it. I was a little jealous. I was a little jealous of the guys who came out my year or the year before and had all that success, knowing that I was just as good as them.

"Jealousy is not a good thing. I think we all have our own paths and we all have our own journeys and we all have our own ways of getting to where we want to be.

"I'm 30, and I feel like starting now I can be the golfer that I've always wanted to be."

Many golf fans might hear the name Grayson Murray and think of the controversial pro who got in Twitter spats, including with Kevin Na, and eventually deleted his account.

"I put down Twitter a couple years ago. I think social media can be a great thing and it can be a bad thing. I do not like to read what people have to say about me because they don't know me," he said.

"I think just the way I carried myself, the way I was very - I want to say maybe a little arrogant at times. I think the alcohol brought a side out of me that wasn't me. It was kind of the monster in me in a way.

"Now I'm super calm and I have the demeanor. I know the people around me knew the real Grayson. I have a big heart and I care for a lot of people.

"But it wasn't showing; now I feel like it's showing.

"Today should be good, but there will always be people who wish I didn't win. For that I'm thankful, and for the supporters I'm more thankful for. I feel everyone's support, and I tell my mom, don't look at Twitter because you know I'm your son and you know who I am."

And aside from his wedding coming up and a year packed full of the biggest golf events, what is Murray hoping for? To inspire just one person.

"It's everything," he said when asked how important his battles have been.

"Jesus Christ is first and foremost. Without him, none of his would be possible. He has just given me a platform to write a new story, write my own story.

"I hope everyone there at home watching can get a little inspiration from me. If I just help one person, that's all it takes."