Say what you see

The players’ guide encyclopaedia at the 90th US PGA Championship makes the funniest reading since the draft scripts of Allow dropped through the letterbox at BBC Towers. There’s a little phonetic help with how to pronounce the names of the competitors – for those who never studied Latin and modern languages at kindergarten. It’s golf’s version of Catchphrase – without the super-duper graphics.

The USPGA’s Top 10 Tongue-twisters. Answers below (bee-low) 1. kuh-ME-lo bee-JAY-gus. That’ll be the Colombian, Bejaysus, being adopted by the Detroit Oirish. 2. purr-NIECE. Sounds like the sort of noise one really shouldn’t be making when your brother’s family arrive for the weekend. 3. PAM-pling. The noise this Australian makes in the restroom anytime his name gets near a leaderboard. 4. OH-gil-vee. Which is an anagram obviously of Live Hog – with an ‘e’ left over. 5. MICK-heel. A wobbly ladies’ stiletto made by a dodgy Irish shoemaker. 6. YOCK-up-son. The only useful advice a father can offer when his son comes home drunk for the first time. 7. Ree-YOU-gee ee-MA-da. Means something to do with you relationship with your mother – in Japan. 8. Els. Should really be elz. 9. On-HEL. Anne-gel would be better if it didn’t sound so much like a personal hygiene product. 10.apple-BEE. Is this what they mean by a computer bug?

Answers (arn-suz) 1. Camilo Villegas 2. Tom Pernice 3. Rodney Pampling 4. Geoff Ogilvy 5. Shaun Micheel 6. Fredrik Jacobson 7. Ryuji Imada 8. Ernie Els (no, really) 9. Angel Cabrera 10. Stuart Appleby