'Too Many Golfers Think 'I'm A Member, I Come First'' – One Visitor Reveals His 'Awful' Experience With An 'Obnoxious' 3-Ball... A Sadly Familiar Story

What a shame it is that golfers can’t always be nice to each other. Play the game for long enough and one day you’re guaranteed to come across a group or an individual who will try to make you feel small.

Richard Alvis-Matthews had been playing the game on and off since his early teens and hadn’t encountered any kind of rudeness - until, that is, he started to get out and about more as a visiting golfer.

That’s when he wrote to us to describe one experience involving an "obnoxious three-ball" that has "put him off playing". It still bothers him, which is perfectly understandable.

GM's Nick Bonfield has also experienced some unsettling behaviour at the hands of members and feels like they sometimes stare him down as a visitor.

"Golf," he says, "is meant to be fun. I don’t understand why some people feel the need to behave in such a way."

Alvis-Matthews’ unpleasant experience came at a golf club in York, where he was staying the day before a wedding. A keen golfer who enjoys playing on his own, he booked a tee time for himself and off he went.

As anyone who plays a lot of solo golf will know, not everyone is keen to let the single player through, and this is where Alvis-Matthews’ round, which had started pleasantly enough, turned sour.

After a couple of four-balls had stopped for a friendly chat before letting him go on ahead, which is what normally tends to happen when he's playing alone, he got ‘the stare’.

You know the one - we've all encountered one of these. "You could see it on their faces," he says. "'We’re not letting you through.' No intention whatsoever.

"I kept my distance and kept checking my laser to make sure they were out of range, but you could see them looking over their shoulders all the time.

"I was putting out on one hole and I could see them walking to the next tee, so I was thinking they’d let me tee off at the same time and play through, but no."

'A few expletives'

After making the turn, Alvis-Matthews found himself face to face with an angry golfer with his hands on his hips whilst two others looked on as if to say ‘What on earth do you think you’re playing at?’

"I remember there were a few expletives," adds Alvis-Matthews, who was starting to wonder why he’d bothered booking himself a tee time.

"It was awful. The look on his face. I’ve never seen anything like it.

"I flushed a 5-iron right down the middle of the fairway after they eventually let me play through, but my head was so all over the place, I couldn’t find my ball."

Alvis-Matthews, who tells us that he kept his composure throughout, says he was so worked up that his hands were still shaking three holes later.

Although he still enjoys playing at Shipley Golf club, where he's a member, he feels that some club members treat visitors differently.

"There are too many people that think, 'Well, I’m a member here, I come first.' Visitors bring in huge sums on money. If you don’t treat them well, they’re not going to come again.

"It's put me off going to play other courses."

So it's back to Shipley Golf Club for Richard, where the members there have no problem in letting him play through.

On a good day, when he gets the first tee time at 07.30 on a Thursday morning, he says he can play 15 or 16 holes before 09.00, and then he gets back to his office.

"It's how I like to play," he says. "I don't want to be out there for four-and-a-half hours."

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