The Moaning Of Golf: The 15 Things Golfers Complain About The Most

Golfers are a funny bunch. Most of us have experienced so much anguish on the course that we’re almost conditioned to be negative about our own games. But it’s not just personal play that draws criticism and complaint – we’ll moan about slow play, the rules, what’s on draft in the clubhouse, dress codes and more.

Below, I’ve run through what I feel are the 15 topics golfers complain about the most, in no particular order… 

Our own games

The obvious starting point for such a list. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard comments like “Why am I so bad at this game?” or “It’s going to be another one of those days” after a bad performance on the very first hole. It’s the first hole! Instead of having a whinge, maybe we should realign our expectations, accept the game’s volatility and set about the task at hand with positivity. 

Our equipment

We often look down with scorn at the club we’ve just used to hit a rather ropey shot. The phrase “a good workman never blames his tools” definitely isn’t applicable in a golfing context. We always blame our tools, even though it’s clearly nothing to do with them. You probably hit a 50-yard slice because you came at the ball massively from the inside.

Course conditioning

Greenkeepers and golf course superintendents have a very difficult job. They have to deal with ever-changing weather conditions – a task made trickier thanks to global warming – limited budgets, unrealistic member expectations and the impact of sustainability, which means finding alternative solutions to well-established products and practices. That doesn’t stop us blaming a missed three-footer on the state of the putting surface.  

Slow play

This one quite rightly draws a lot of attention. There’s no question slow play from the group in front can cause serious irritation and derail a round. It seems to be an unsolvable problem and, as such, it dominates discussions on the course, in the clubhouse bar and at committee meetings.

Fast play

While not in the same ballpark as slow play, there is increasing irritation in some quarters with fast play. No one likes waiting an eternity to hit a golf shot, but some (quite rightly in my opinion) find it slightly irksome when they’re paired with a member who’s intent on completing the round in less than three hours because they’ve given their other half an unrealistic finish time. 

Fellow members

We’ve always got something to say about fellow members, whether it’s them not being friendly enough, being too friendly, being too loud in the bar, not supporting club events, bringing too many visitors, being bandits and so on. Related to this is being drawn with unfavourable players in competitions. There’s nothing more annoying than someone talking during your backswing. 

The rules

Ah yes, the rules of golf. When you consider how many different and unpredictable scenarios the rules have to legislate for, it’s hard to criticise the game’s laws too much. But we do. Remember the hoo-ha when dropping was changed to knee-height, when we could start putting with the flag in and when hazards were removed from the lexicon? Golfers do love to make a mountain out of a molehill.

World Handicap System

I’d argue handicapping and the WHS is right at the top of the list of golfers’ most common gripes. Even though there’s never going to be a perfect solution, it’s a highly divisive topic. Whether it’s scratch golfers complaining they can’t win handicap competitions, consternation around non-competition rounds counting towards handicap or nomadic (and club) golfers being adequately policed, we’ve all got something to say.

Dress codes

Dress codes wouldn’t sit far behind the WHS if you were to rank the most common conversations in golf clubs. Some feel the game should honour its roots and that strict dress codes must be maintained; others feel it should move with the times. Oddly, not many people seem to sit in the middle of this debate. I, for one, couldn’t really care less what someone else chooses to wear.

Food and drink

What’s being served in the clubhouse rarely pleases all members and visitors, whether it’s the beers on tap or the fillings in the sandwiches. If only we could all have whatever we want whenever we want it…

Tee time booking systems

Most club golfers have ideas as to how their tee time allocation system could be better, even though most methods work pretty well. Admittedly, some clubs do have room for improvement in this regard – you often hear stories of the same old people getting the best Saturday morning tee times and strange systems for tee time allocation, including having to show up at the bar the evening before to get a booking priority raffle ticket.

Bad luck 

It seems to me, anecdotally at least, that golfers bemoan bad luck far more than players of other sports do. We’re not very good at taking bad breaks on the chin and we’re terrible at letting them go and moving on, even though golf is played outside and on terrain impacted by animals, the weather, topography and so on. You’d think we’d be used to it. 

Visitors 

Visitors are still given somewhat frosty receptions at some clubs, and some members love to complain about the minimal impact outsiders have on their schedule and perception of membership value (even though these people bring in significant revenue). If divots are strewn across fairways and pitch marks are left unattended, a visitor is almost certainly responsible. There are always pariahs at clubs who dare to invite numerous guests, too. 

Cost

Golfers are often having a whinge about the game’s financial impact, from how expensive tee times have become to the cost of modern equipment and membership. In fairness, there’s often justification for this. But there is great value to be had – in terms of second-hand clubs and tee time prices – if you’re willing to look for it. 

Juniors

It’s an uncomfortable truth, but juniors are often the subject of negative conversations at golf clubs. And, dare I say it, it’s often older members who are involved. The outdated mantra that ‘children should be seen and not heard’ is sometimes used as a metaphorical stick to beat juniors with.