If you were to list the topics that cause most consternation in golfing circles, slow play would arguably be top of the list. Granted, handicapping, dress codes and the recently announced golf ball rollback would give it a run for its money, but I’d suggest slow play is the most-talked-about issue in clubhouses around the world. So, is there anything more annoying? I’d argue there is, and it’s the completely opposite problem: fast play.
Before I get any further, I want to make it clear that I don’t condone flagrant slow play. And yes, it can be very trying. Players with elaborate pre-shot routines who take 15 practice swings with people behind are clearly rude and thoughtless, as are those who leave their bags and trolleys on the wrong side of the green, spend an eternity lining up putts and aren’t ready to hit when it’s their turn.
Being considerate to, and aware of, others who share the same course is a bedrock of the game and those who erode it with their single-mindedness deserve to be seen as pariahs. However, I must admit to finding fast play more annoying, and I bet I’m not alone.
There's no doubt slow play can be irritating
But what do I consider fast play? If you’re not going at an unreasonable pace – a subjective statement, I admit, but most people can objectively discern whether they’ve going to slow – and the people behind you are putting undue pressure on you, it’s really grating. Your whole rhythm is thrown off and you can’t clear your mind. Plus, you know any bad shot into trouble will make the situation worse, which brings undue pressure.
Often, I think people conflate average golf with slow play. If you’re a 20-handicapper, you’re going to find the trees more often than a scratch golfer. But, you could be a quick player outside of those mishaps. Does that mean you should be classified as slow? Of course not, it’s just the nature of the game and an irritating reality for mid-handicap golfers. Clearly you shouldn’t dither when you’re looking for your ball, but you shouldn’t be expected to forego the search because the group of single-figure players behind are racing around.
Better golfers are going to play faster, it’s as simple as that. I don’t know why it’s so drummed into us that we have to keep up with the group in front. What if said group is full of quality players and you’re a four-ball composed of average golfers? It’s not really feasible to keep up unless you sacrifice your enjoyment of the round. Just don’t hold up the group behind.
Different Motivations
Another scenario that I find slightly irksome is when your playing partners are racing round because they’ve told their other halves they’ll be home at an unrealistic time. The difference between a fast round and a slow one for a four-ball is probably 30 minutes. That’s nothing in the context of the drive to the course, the pre-golf check in and warm up, the round itself and the food/drink afterwards. It’s not my problem that you have an annoyed spouse at home because you promised to take the children to the cinema.
While fast play can bother anyone, feeling hurried is something female golfers often struggle with, as GM’s women’s golf editor, Alison Root, explains: “As soon as women begin their golfing journey, it is drummed into them about slow play. There are many ladies' changing rooms that have a notice or a poem stuck behind the toilet door to remind them to speed up, and that's before they've even teed off! It's no wonder that the majority are very conscious of their pace of play, often rushing shots to unnecessarily get a move on.”
I genuinely would prefer to wait on a few shots during the round than feel rushed when I’m hitting. Bad slow play, when you’re held up on every hole, is incredibly irritating, but I’d take mild slow play over fast play every day of the week.
There's no need to sprint round the golf course
Unnecessary Pressure
Something I experienced recently at a world-renowned course (that shall remain nameless) also bothered me. We watched the group in front – clearly all very good golfers – smash drives off the 1st tee and by the 5th hole, myself and my other playing partners had fallen behind them. Our handicaps were 10-22, so it’s hardly surprising.
From that moment onwards, we were hounded by the marshals, to the point where two members of the four-ball were seriously annoyed. There’s no doubt it affected performance. They had paid a lot of money to play the course and we only held the group behind up on two shots over the course of 18 holes. At one point, the marshal even pushed our trolleys from one green to the next tee and took our headcovers off! Will we be going back there again? No.
To some people and clubs, fast play is seen as a badge of honour. Have you ever had a conversation with someone after a round like this… “How did you get on today?” “Oh, I’m not really sure what I shot, but we got round 18 holes in three hours and 57 minutes!” Good for you, but I think you’re missing the point of golf.
So next time you’re bragging about how fast you play, putting unnecessary pressure on the group in front or sprinting round for no good reason, stop and consider other people. Yes, flagrant slow play is a scourge and rightly a deep source of frustration for many, but fast play is not the antidote and can often be worse. We’d all do well to remember that.
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