I Missed My Golf Club Membership So Badly (For Reasons That Might Surprise You) But I'm So Glad I've Rejoined...

‘You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone.’ This saying couldn’t be more true for me. I missed my golf club membership so badly, and now that I’ve rejoined West Essex Golf Club as a full member, I couldn’t be happier.

Don’t get me wrong, a few years ago it was entirely the right decision to give up my membership. I wasn’t playing enough at my home club to justify the cost. Of course, I haven’t missed forking out for an annual fee, but as hard as I tried to make my PlayMore Golf membership work at the same club, it didn’t fit.

When I was available for golf, I couldn't use credits to play on Saturday mornings with friends - a routine I had previously enjoyed for over 20 years. I couldn’t expect them to adjust their schedule, so I often ended up playing alone, feeling like a "Billy no mates."

I missed the simple pleasures: tossing balls to mix in, chatting about the week’s events, stopping for a sausage roll at the halfway house, and enjoying a glass of wine afterward. These are things that many of you can probably relate to, and none of them actually involve the act of playing golf. Yes, I love the game and revel in a good score, but my time away reminded me that golf is about so much more than just the game itself. Even my sausage roll tastes better now!

As an industry, in an effort to attract people to the sport, we promote golf’s additional benefits, in particular wellbeing - spending time outdoors, stress relief, and mental health improvement (although a missed two-foot putt might make me question that), along with a healthy sense of competition. But I believe the greatest benefit of being a club member, whether it be golf, tennis, or hockey, is that sense of belonging and the support it provides.

I’m clearly feeling nostalgic and sentimental as I start this new golfing chapter, which is probably why Mary Maxwell’s story caught my eye. She took up the game in her late 60s and is still playing at 86, a journey that has included her being Lady Captain, Lady President and various committee positions. 

Mary shared her experiences - the frustrations of learning the game and the nerves of being a beginner club member. “One day the Lady Captain asked me to play with her, I felt both honoured and terrified! Of course, she turned out to be a normal human being and there was no need to curtsy after all!” Like Mary, I also remember being interviewed by three formidable women who explained golf’s rules and etiquette, and were quite scary when explaining what was expected of me as a club member. I was a nervous wreck, but fortunately, the interview process (if there even is one) has become far more relaxed nowadays.

But at the end of the day, neither of us would be where we are today without golf, and Mary’s words resonate deeply: “Sometimes I think that the whole playing experience can be a reflection of life experiences, coping with the ups and downs of the game and subsequent anger! Accepting yourself and your abilities for what they are, and quite importantly mixing with many different types of people. Golf is not just a game, it is a way of life.”

Mary, myself, and thousands of others recognise the benefits of golf club membership. Yet, as more women and girls enter the sport, the generational split between golf club membership and choosing other ways to enjoy the game has become far more noticeable. 

For women in their 20s and 30s, they can’t miss what they’ve never had. Knowing the ageing demographic of female members at the majority of clubs, and no doubt hearing similar tales that I’ve mentioned of traditional golf club life, albeit that times have considerably moved on, it’s no surprise that some younger women are choosing different golfing communities, like societies or simulator venues.

To each their own, what really matters is that more women and girls are participating in the game. But I hope some of these women will eventually experience club membership and discover what they’ve been missing. I certainly did.