'Golf Is Not Life And Death' - Joel Dahmen On Life, Loss And His Rise To Netflix Stardom

Joel Dahmen is 20 minutes late for our interview. It’s part of his new reality, the latest chapter in his life that has seen him become a parent for the first time.

It’s a reality that 12 years ago looked uncertain when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 23, not long after turning pro and not long after his brother, Zach, received the same startling news.

Coming through the other side, though, gave Dahmen fresh perspective to go with his immense talent, a talent that was nurtured during a childhood full of love and golf and that led him to PGA Tour success.

The early years

Dahmen grew up in Clarkston, Washington, a small town in America’s northwest, where his dad was the driving force behind the family introductions to the game. First, his mum, then later Joel, who quickly developed a knack for it.

“I was fortunate enough to grow up with a loving family,” Dahmen says. “My dad played when he was growing up, he really got into it after high school, and then he met my mom and got her into playing golf. 

“My dad was just a golf junkie, and he still is. I was a natural at it, I got pretty good early and it was just what we did as a family. I didn't really know anything else before. I could start swinging the club when I was walking and it kind of took off from there. I wasn't big enough to play any other sports at a high level. I had other plans when I was young, but my dad always knew what was going on in the golf world.”

However, despite his obvious natural ability - he won the State Championship at the age of 15 as a freshman in college - Dahmen admitted he didn’t grow up dreaming of life on tour. Instead, he focused on using his talent as a route to free education, before ultimately stumbling into a career in golf.

“We had no-one where I grew up who had ever done anything successful in the athletic world so it all just seemed so far away. A lot of people had goals I never did. The entire thing I wanted was to get a college scholarship and get school paid for. I wouldn’t say it was even a realistic goal to go to college. 

“It was more like I didn’t have any other options except to throw in some golf and give that a shot for a couple years. I didn’t have a college degree, I wasn’t particularly working overly hard with anything in life. It was just one of those things like, ‘I guess this is the next step. I’m pretty good at golf, I should just figure out how to do this for a living’. Because I didn’t want a real job. Thankfully, it’s worked out OK.”

‘A rudderless ship’

Progress is rarely linear, though, and before all that, tragedy struck the Dahmen family. When Joel was in his junior year in high school, his mum, Jolyn, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed shortly thereafter. 

A woman Joel describes as a “superhero,” there are understandably a few deep intakes of breath as the conversation turns to this phase of his life, but no attempts to hurry through it. Though it hurt, and still does, it is also a big part of who he is today. 

“I was a 17-year-old kid who was a mama's boy who had the best mum in the world. And she did everything for me and all of a sudden, she's gone. I was kind of like a rudderless ship out in the ocean just floating around.

“I didn't have a lot of direction, didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was lost and a lot of the time she would guide me along the way when I was lost so I was just floating around being a young kid with a lot of potential. I guess that’s a word for me and a lot of things I nearly lost and I didn't really care.”

The ensuing years were difficult for Dahmen, who struggled to process his grief. His mum had been his biggest fan. A local elementary school teacher, she would drive him to and from tournaments in summer, take notes of his rounds, and provide counsel to help keep things in perspective for her son. Until she wouldn’t.

He dropped out of the University of Washington, but from those depths of despair, golf was always there to help him put the pieces back together.

“Golf was kind of my safety net really. I remember the golf course was a safe spot for me, it was where I could go and just get away from the struggles that myself and my family were having. It was just kind of like I could go focus on golf and have a great time doing it and get away from everything.”

Then came his own battle with cancer in 2011, which, although a shock to the system, gave him the kickstart towards realising his potential on the course, while staying true to his mum’s wish that he live life to the fullest.

“I was kind of living the dream. I was just starting out, I was invincible, it was fun to tell people I was a pro golfer chasing the dream of playing on tour and then everything just kind of gets shut down. It's like, ‘Wow, this is actually happening to me’. 

“I found out pretty quickly I was going to be OK, it wasn’t going to be overly serious for me or have any long-term complications. So at that point, I said, ‘Hey, I'm going to regroup and get healthy so I can make the best run I can as a professional golfer’. It changes your mindset that you aren’t quite as invincible as you thought you were so might as well go out and enjoy yourself.

“I just try to enjoy each day, really. Maybe to a fault at times. I make sure and seize the opportunities to do fun things that can come my way. But also in golf, golf is not life and death. Yeah, we're playing at the highest level and it’s how I support my family and it's a very serious thing, and you have to take it seriously, but at the same time, it's not the biggest thing going on.”

A star is born

For casual golf fans, Dahmen was a name that probably first crossed their radar at the 2022 Phoenix Open. The rowdiest event on the PGA Tour schedule, it was supercharged after spectator numbers were limited in 2021 with the effects of Covid still being felt.

Dahmen made the cut but was well out of contention on Sunday when he and playing partner Harry Higgs arrived on the 16th green of TPC Scottsdale’s famous stadium hole. And perhaps it was an opportunity too fun to pass up as the pair whipped off their shirts and whipped up the thousands in attendance, who rained down beers and God knows what else in a scene that went viral.

It earned Dahmen a telling off from the PGA Tour hierarchy but also an army of new fans and, perhaps, a starring role as men’s professional golf got the Netflix treatment courtesy of the eight-part Full Swing docuseries.

His co-stars included the likes of Jordan Spieth, Justin Thomas, Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Rory McIlroy, a who’s who of elite-level golf. Yet it was Dahmen’s self-deprecating nature and genuinely touching background that captured the audience. 

For his was a human story of success amid struggle. Of family and heartache. It was a story of emotional connections and a reminder to cherish them while they last. It didn’t feature private jets or talk of the scarcely believable money being poured into the male professional sphere.

It was relatable in so many ways, for Dahmen on the course and off is a throwback to prior generations when golfers were just normal people. The kind you could imagine going for a pint with. It’s little wonder his episode, aptly titled Imposter Syndrome, struck such a chord.

“Yeah, definitely more popular,” he said about its impact. “I used to be able to fly under the radar. I could just go and go off to the putting green or the range without being stopped. The same with flying a little bit. There are more people in the airport saying hi to me, or when I’m out at dinner. It's like little things like that. 

“But it's mostly overall been very positive, which is nice. I couldn't imagine if I was getting negative feedback. I wouldn't like that very much. It's different, you know, like playing some feature groups recently that I'm not typically in and just people shouting my name.

“I feel like when I'm at the golf course, and in work mode, it's better. It's nice to have fans rooting you on. Then sometimes it's nice to be a little more anonymous, and just be able to not ever feel like you have to be on social media or feel like there's some extra eyes on you. It’s a little bit harder to shut off and go into your shell and hide from all that, but overall, I think it’s been positive.”

Geno

It’s hard to fully tell Dahmen’s story without also touching on his caddie, Geno Bonnalie. The pair met through golf when they were growing up and, more than 20 years on, form one of the most popular player-caddie duos on the PGA Tour.

In Full Swing, Dahmen struggles to read out the letter sent to him by Geno “applying” to be his looper without tearing up. “I can’t believe I’m getting emotional, that’s how much I love Geno,” he told Netflix.

He expands on that during our chat, adding: “Our friendship goes way beyond the golf course. We’re best friends in all aspects of life and he's very close with my wife and my family. He's a great role model for me because he has two kids, he's an unbelievable husband, he still travels full time. It’s just a mutual respect of what we're doing. 

“It's way more than golf and we have a ton of fun when we’re doing it. We take it very seriously but we also aren't afraid to get away and have a little fun. So just very lucky to have him by my side. It’s great.”

As for who has more new fans: “I would say Geno, definitely. He's been hilarious for many years, especially on social media. And I'm glad that he's getting some of the attention he deserves. But the best part is, he's just a genuinely nice guy who you want to hang out with, and you want to be friends with.”

The next chapter

Dahmen might be a PGA Tour winner but he doesn’t ooze self-belief like the Brooks Koepkas and Jon Rahms of the world. At least, that’s what he wants you to believe. There is an underlying confidence there, though, but it’s masked by brutal realism. 

“Someone’s got to be the 70th player in the world, might as well be me,” was another of his memorable Full Swing soundbites. However, this is a golfer who led the US Open after two rounds last year. He has also come close at Riviera and Quail Hollow, two major venues.

“I would say I feel closer [to winning a major] than I did last year,” he concedes. “To play in a final group in a major on a Saturday means you’re doing something right for half the event. I would just say I need a lot of stuff. I need the right circumstances, I need the right golf course, I need the right weather, and I need to play my best. So I need a few more things to go my way than those top players but I'm not saying it’s completely out of the question.

“I feel like I could sneak around that 30th in the world spot for a couple of years. I’m 35 and the game is getting so much younger and they’re all getting so much better so the window is not very big but I do believe that I could hang out in that top 50 for a couple years if I just play a little bit more consistent and putt a little bit better.”

A Masters debut is something he’d also like to tick off before he hangs the clubs up, if not for himself, for those around him who have been there through thick and thin.

“I think it would be a hole in my resume if I didn't qualify for the Masters at some point in my career. It's not like the end all be all for me. I think honestly, I just want to qualify so I can go play golf and play a practice round with Geno and my dad and experience that part of it.

“The actual competition of Thursday through Sunday would be fun, don't get me wrong. It’d be great to play well but I think just going and experiencing it with the people closest to me would be really what I want to do it for. It would be a nice little reward to take them out there and experience it in all its glory.”

More important than all that, though, Joel and his wife Lona welcomed their first son Riggs William into the world in January. Fittingly, we are chatting two weeks before my first child is due.

“Oh, you’re going to be in for it my friend. It’s one of the coolest things you’ll ever do but it’s also very difficult,” he says. “It's been like some of the most incredible times and some of the hardest times, you're just constantly tired. 

“But it’s been really fun, we have a great kid who is sleeping and eating and he’s healthy, so that’s all fun and games. There’s still times where you just want to take a nap though and I’m sure every other parent can relate to that.”

Indeed. Perhaps his golf has suffered slightly. This year has been littered with missed cuts and he has slid down the rankings. However, when all is said and done after everything that’s happened in his life to this point, it’s not his legacy with a club in hand he will want to define him; rather it will be Joel Dahmen the person, like his mother before him, that he will hope leaves a lasting impression.