Golf Gave Me Confidence... Then Social Media's Toxic Culture Tried To Take It Away

Golf has always been a part of my life. I played as a junior, and even though I didn’t stick with it continuously, it was always there in the background – something I understood, something familiar. But I didn’t fully realise the power of golf until everything else in my life began to fall apart.

Over the past number of years, I’ve faced some serious health issues, including endometriosis and stage 4 kidney disease. It’s been a lonely, exhausting journey – physically draining, emotionally isolating, and at times, completely overwhelming.

When you’re dealing with chronic illness, it’s easy to lose your sense of identity. You stop recognising the person in the mirror. You become ‘’the patient,’’ ‘’the one who’s always sick.’’ Everything else starts to slip away. Then Covid hit and that’s when I turned back to golf.

Getting out on the course again gave me more than just fresh air and exercise. It gave me something to look forward to. A reason to get up, get dressed, and show up for myself. It reminded me that I was more than just my diagnosis – I was a golfer. I had a swing, I had a purpose. And slowly, my confidence started to return.

At first, I shared my journey on social media just to connect with others. I wanted to show that golf can be accessible, fun and healing - especially for beginners, women, and anyone who felt like they didn’t belong in the traditional golf space. The response was warm, encouraging. I felt like I had found a new community. But somewhere along the way, that confidence began to unravel.

Social media is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can amplify your voice. On the other hand, it can quietly chip away at your self-worth. Without even realising it, I found myself constantly comparing. Constantly chasing. Trying to keep up with trends, numbers, and opportunities that always seemed just out of reach.

Rejection became normal. I applied for countless jobs in the golf industry – many of which I was qualified for – but either never heard back or ended up following leads that led nowhere. It’s a draining cycle, especially when you’re already trying to manage your health and stay positive.

But beyond the numbers and rejections, there’s something harder to describe – I often feel like I don’t quite fit the mould. The golf world, especially online, can sometimes feel like it rewards a very specific look, vibe or background. When you fall outside of that, it can be easy to feel invisible, even if you’re doing all the right things. That feeling of trying to squeeze into a space that wasn’t really designed with you in mind can slowly eat away at your confidence.

Golf can be one of the most inclusive games in the world, but at times, it still mirrors old-school popularity contests. For a space that talks so much about ‘’growing the game,’’ it doesn’t always practice what it preaches. And that can be disheartening when you’re trying to break through for the right reasons.

I don’t have all the answers, but what I’ve learned recently is that working harder isn’t always the solution. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is take a step back. Focus on your life outside of the game. Spend time with people who ground you. Do things that bring you joy with no agenda. That’s where real confidence comes from – not from numbers, likes or job offers, but from living a life that feels authentic.

One of the most meaningful things I’ve done is start hosting golf events. Creating welcoming spaces for others who are new to the game or have felt like outsiders themselves has helped me reconnect with what I love most about golf. It’s not just about technique or competition, it’s about community, joy and growth.

It’s no surprise so many people, especially women and beginners, feel like outsiders in golf. The barriers are often subtle but they’re there: intimidating dress codes, high costs, unspoken rules, and environments that can feel unwelcoming or male-dominated.

For women, there’s also the pressure of being watched, judged, or underestimated – sometimes all at once. For beginners, it can feel like everyone else knows something you don’t. That’s why creating inclusive spaces matters. Because confidence in golf doesn’t just come from hitting good shots, it comes from feeling like you belong.

If you’re navigating the golf world, or social media, and starting to feel overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Take breaks, protect your peace, and focus on what you love about the game. There is space for everyone in golf, and you don’t need to fit a mould to belong.

That said, I am extremely grateful to the people and opportunities that have come my way. They have reminded me that there is space for authenticity and that change is possible. This is what keeps me going.

Golf gave me confidence when I needed it most. And while social media and the industry have challenged that confidence in ways I never expected, they haven’t taken it away completely. I’m still here. Still swinging. Still figuring it out, day by day.

If you’re reading this and feeling stuck, discouraged, or like it’s too late to start something new, let this be your sign. Golf is truly a game for life. It has benefits far beyond the scorecard, especially for your mental and emotional wellbeing. You don’t need permission. You don’t need the perfect set-up. You just need the courage to show up.

And you never know, this game might just give you back a piece of yourself you didn’t realise you’d lost.